Convincing Your Parents to Let You Wear Lolita

One of the hardest things for a teenager wishing to wear lolita is getting your parents to let you wear it. I know you don't want to hear this, but with most parents it will take a lot of work to convince them to let you wear lolita considering most people outside of Japan don't know anything about lolita fashion.

 

Getting past the word "lolita": We all know the word lolita has some "questionable" meanings most of them have nothing to do with an innocent, frilly, Japanese style. The word lolita might be a huge turn off before you even start explaining the style. When I told my parents about the style, I completely avoided calling it lolita because they read a lot and it would have been impossible for them not to know about the "other" lolita. The only problem with avoiding the word lolita is that most lolita fashion sites have the word in huge pink letters right at the top of the page. I solved that problem by getting a bunch of pictures off the Internet and made a slide show about the fashion. If that is too much work than you can tell them that the fashion is called lolita but explain how little the novel has to do with the style.  

 

The "shock strategy": If you know before you even show your parents about lolita that they won't particularly "like" the idea of you wearing it than the shock strategy is the way to go! The first thing you need to do is figure out what style your parents hate the most. Once you figure out that style, pretend that you want to wear it. Make it really obvious so your parents think that it's what you want to wear (even though it isn't) Your parents will be in panic after that! After about a mouth of "shocking" them act like you just found lolita and tell them about the style. They will be so relieved that you want to wear something different than that style they hate that they would let you wear almost anything! This strategy might not work for everyone and it is hard to pull off, so you shouldn't try it unless your sure that nothing else will work.

 

The direct strategy: This is the most common way of convincing your parents where all you have to do is be direct about what you want to say. Just tell your parents that you want you want to talk to them about wearing a different style and explain it to them. 

 

Explaining the style: So you got to the point in whichever strategy you chose to use (weather it's one of these or something you made up) where you explain lolita fashion to your parents. Now you have to figure out how to explain it to them. the tips below will help you explain the style to your parents and get them to let you wear lolita!

• Explain the good parts of the style first like the innocence, cuteness, and how much you love it. Doing it this way make the bad stuff seem less "bad"
• Sugar coat the bad stuff, explain that not all styles are perfect. The only bad stuff i can think of about lolita right now are the weird stares you get and pricey cost.
• What ever you do DO NOT show them pictures of anime/manga characters wearing lolita because they might think your trying to dress like a cartoon character and not understand that some cartoons are influenced by real life.
• Explain the different styles, tell them about the style you want to wear but tell them about the other style too so if they don't like the style you want to wear they still know the other options. 
• show show your parents how happy the clothes make you, i would recommend going somewhere with them you could try on lolita clothes then they will see how happy you are in lolita and buy something for you (hopefully)
• Save up for your clothes and buy them yourself, maybe the reason why your parents don't want you to wear lolita is because it's too expensive. If you save up and buy with your OWN money they might be ok with it.
• Show them bodyline, although I have mentioned that bodyline sells a few bad quality items it is the cheapest lolita brand out there. Remember that if your buying from bodyline you showed know what makes a dress good quality or bad quality so I would suggest reading my ovoid being an ita post.
• learn to sew, if the bodyline prices still aren't good enough for your parents sew your own lolita clothes.
• do good in school, it's more likely that your parents would let you wear lolita (or any style) if you have good grades and a responsible attitude. They won't think your responsible enough to wear lolita if your failing out of school and have a sour-puss attitude all the time. If you get straight A's your parents might even buy you a brand dress!
• ask about Christmas/birthdays, They might not buy you a lolita dress any old day, but they might buy you something for Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) or your birthday.

Qutie Land review!

I recently bought Quite Land's Merry-Go-Round One piece in pink x silver and I love it! it's really cute, the fabric is good quality, and it's only 100 dollars but it also has shipping cost which differs depending on where you live. The shipping is slow, mostly because everything is made after you order, but the quality of the dress makes up for it. It has a fair amount of puff already in it so it could look okay with a petti under it but a petti makes it a lot better. I also bought this Petti from the same site and it gave a perfect bell shape to my skirt :) The last thing I bought was this cutsew in blue. It's really pretty but still comfortable and easy to co-ordinate into a more casual outfit.         

lolita undergarments

So, today I'm going to talk about lolita undergarments. To achieve the perfect poof you need the proper undergarments.

Petticoats: The most important part to achieving the ideal poof is a cupcake shaped petti. It has to be the write shape and length for the outfit to work. It should have a bell shape to it NOT a square dance petti because square dances pettis have an out word flare to them and don't look right. The proper length should be a little be shorter than your skirt. Any longer and it shows under your skirt and looks sloppy, any shorter and it can cave in around the bottom of your skirt and look awkward. Sometimes you might have to war more than one petti, it depends on the quality of the ones you own.

Bloomers: Bloomers also add to that extra poof to your skirt. The only way you can really go wrong with bloomers is to buy a pair that are to long and show under your skirt which, again, can look sloppy. Think about it this way: when you bend over in bell shaped skirts it can show you panties, bloomers also add extra modesty so that doesn't happen.

Corsets: I'm not going to spend to much time talking about corsets because they are optional. If you want to look thinner they are the way to go, but they can also be uncopmterabe (sorry about my spelling) and restraining. If you do choose to wear corsets, than make sure to wear them UNDER your outfit, unless your going for a gothic or erololi look.  

Angelic Pretty? Classic?

this post may be really upsetting to sweet lolitas all over the world.

I was on the Hello Lace lolita website today to see if the brands have put up any new designs and I found something you might find interesting. I might just be jumping to conclusions here but Angelic Pretty's designs are becoming less "sweet" the newest designs are not available in very many pastels and they are starting in look more "mature"
ex. 1:  button down blouse as you can see, this blouse is only available in ONE pastel color and has a lot less lace and bows as some of there other blouses. even by looking at the shape of the blouse, you can tell it's going to more of the classic side of lolita. 

ex. 2. making party Bow Tie blouse  again, it is available in only one pastel color and only has a little bit of lace. there isn't even the signature lolita baby collar, just a stand up collar and a crappy Bow Tie that can barely pass as sweet lolita.

ex. 3: Holy Night Story OP  this is where I really started to get suspicious, the color of the print is more muted and the colors of the dress itself are pretty dull. Seriously AP, this dress isn't available in any pastel colors the only thing close to a pastel that you can buy this dress in, is a peach pink. if there wasn't all the cake on the print I wouldn't even know that it's AP.

I wonder what's up with Angelic Pretty's not-so-positive design changes. I wonder what it is. Maybe there is different designers (which would be awful because Maki is an amazing designer). If AP really is going to try to go classic than the store won't be so popular anymore.

Creating your lolita style

One of the hardest things about starting off with lolita is figuring out which style you want to wear. It might seem like a simple task but it requires a lot of thinking. The best thing to do, is take the lolita styles you like and mix them together, you can even add some influences from non-loli styles. There is no rule that says you have to change your style to fit into certain guidelines, that's why the title of this post is "creating" your style not "choosing" it. My personal lolita style is over the top sweet mixed with decora, fairy kei, and hime-loli styles. My combination turns into a turbo-cupcake puffed skirt with a cute print and lots of lace and bows. I add lots of accessories and I wear pastel colored wigs. 

If you can't decide between the styles you like but don't want to attempt mixing styles you could wear two different styles and keep them separate. This way it could cost double the price of one lolita style. If you want to wear two different styles than they should be similar like sweet lolita and country lolita instead of sweet lolita and gothic lolita. It will cost double the price of wearing one style if the two styles you choose are extremely different. I'll show you an example of what I mean.

In this example a newbie lolita is shopping at Baby, the Stars Shine Bright and can buy two blouses, two skirts, and one pair of shoes.

She chooses country lolita and sweet lolita, this is what she buys: blouse (in white),  blouse (in pink), skirt (in pink for country lolita), skirt (blue for sweet lolita), and shoes (in pink). She can make four outfits with that because both of those skirts can go with both of those two blouses and the shoes can complement any of those outfits. The prices for those five items add up to 894 dollars.

She chooses sweet lolita and gothic lolita, this is what she buys: blouse (in black for gothic lolita), blouse (in pink for sweet lolita), skirt (in black for gothic lolita), skirt (in blue for sweet lolita). She would have to buy two pairs of shoes which would bump up the price and could only make two outfits out of that. (one sweet one gothic) She would get two oufits for more a more expensive price then she would for four outfits!               

    

different styles

I'm really not going to spend time explaining every style, that's what lolitafashion.org is for. these are just tips on perfecting all the styles. 

For sweet: pastels are the way to go! Don't think your just limited to one pastel per outfit with white trim, mixing pastels can look ultra Kawaii. Cute prints with animals, sweets, fruit, dots, or hears look adorable. You can put multiple bows and clips in your hair and, lots of other cute accessories. Make sure to go for the turbo-cupcake puff in your skirts and wear bloomers underneath to keep your modesty! Mary Janes and patterned socks look great with a sweeter style. Teased-out pigtails or bouncy ringlets are the icing on the cake, you can even dye your hair pastel pink or pastel blue if your feeling daring. the perfect place to go for this style is angelic pretty 

For gothic: Your color scheme should be on the darker side. Wear black based clothes with prints in colors like white, blue, and grey. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TRY BLACK WITH WHITE LACE! It just looks ita-ish and cheap, but like I said earlier, a darker influenced print in white looks good. Gothic lolita follows the basic guidelines so you should still wear cup cake skirts and bloomers. lace up boots are the best shoes in this style. You can dye your hair black and style it simply to top it off. The best place to buy gothic lolita is moi meme moitie 

For classic: Wear Muted pastels and darker colors for a more refined look that classic lolitas love. Ovoid "cute" prints and go for floral prints or solid colors. skirts should be a bi longer and less puffy in classic lolita. The main thing that separates classic from the rest of the lolita styles is the lack of frils. You can leave you hair in your natrual color and just style it simply to keep up with the sophisticated elegance theme.

These are the baasic styles of lolita and I might post more styles later on.

avoid being an Ita

Now I'm going to talk about a lolita's most dreaded titles: the Ita. Italoli means "ouch" loli, like you look so bad it makes your eyes hurt. There are some simple ways to avoid ita-ness. if you follow these rules you shouldn't have to be called one

Cheap lace: It is well known that lolitas love lace but it can make or break an outfit. Good lace usually has lots of delicate details and is soft to touch. An effective test to tell if the lace is good is if you rub the lace against your skin and your skin doesn't get irritated, than it's good. Eye lit lace is usually a good choice and fits right in with a sweeter outfit. I know Anna house and angelic pretty use a lot of eye lit lace. Bad lace is usually really scratchy, netting based, and doesn't have much detail. Stores like Bodyline and milanoo use a lot of bad lace. 

Gothic Lolita: Gothic lolita can be great if it's pulled off right but a lot of people wear it wrong. One wrong thing that people do is the black with white lace combo. The contrast looks cheap and isn't in style anymore. Another thing people do wrong with gothic lolita is wearing other gawfik colors with black. Try to avoid black x red and black x purple.Black with a blue, white, or gray PRINT does look good.

Head wear: you could have a perfect outfit and ruin it all with head wear. Try to avoid wearing large rectangle head dresses, but that doesn't mean all rectangle headdresses are bad, the smaller ones are ok. Also try to avoid  fake animal ear headbands, they just make your outfit look like a costume. Coats that have fake animal ears on them are ok, I know angelic pretty and baby the stars shine bright do that sometimes. 

Materials: Try to avoid bad materials. Stay away from satin, velvet, and PVC. They just make the outfit look cheap and tasteless.

"Grandma" prints: please, don't wear any prints that look like they could be on your grandma's curtains. Some floral prints can look really grandma-ish.

Modesty: Modesty is one of the most important parts of a lolita outfit. Don't ruin that by trying to be "unique" and wearing short, low-cut, or see through dresses. Save the slutty clothes for strip clubs, and leave it out of lolita (maybe wear it for the "other" lolita)

WA-loli: If its your first lolita outfit don't make it WA-loli. WA-loli is one of the hardest styles to pull off and if it's your first try it will turn out looking like a costume. that means no paper fans, paper umbrellas, and kimono-like dresses.      

         



the ode to lolita hair

now am going to talk about something that lots of new lolitas have problems with: hair. of course you probably looked online and decided to try extravagant like these over to the left side. Well if that's what your going to attempted on your first loli try, your out of luck. Most of these are extensions or just full wigs. I've been trying a couple of years to get OTT sweet hair style on the bottom right, but it doesn't work without extensions. Right now your probably bummed out that you aren't going to be able to do these hair styles, but they're plenty of simple hair styles that are easy to do. Straight vs. curly: you might be trying to figure out whether to do your hair straight or curly. The answer to that is simple, make it easy on yourself, if you have naturally straight hair wear it straight and if you have naturally curly/wavy hair wear it curly. If you have long and wavy hair get out a curling iron, make some ringlet curls, and put in some hair spray so your hair keeps it's shape. If you have long straight hair, you can just leave it straight. Medium hair is basically the same thing except you don't have as much to work with. If your hair is short you can straighten it and wear it in a cute bob cut, or you can curl it. Keep in mind that with short hair you can't do the same spiral curls as you can in long or medium hair. It's good with any type of hair to have some sort of fringe. It can be straight across or side swept, both ways help hair accessories look more natural. Another hairstyle you can try is pig tails. Pig tails look best long or medium hair. Watch this video on how to get cute pig tails without teasing or using a wig. 

      

                                                                           





 

 



self confidence

 self confidence is one of the most important thing that any lolita can have. the way the world works nowdays if you wear something a tad bit different they stare and laugh at you. If you want to have fun wearing lolita than you need to be confident, if you walk around in your favorite dress and your all self consious and nervous you won't have any fun. Lets say your at school in lolita and you think someone's staring at you, it's not a good idea to try to pretend that they're not because chances are that they really are staring at you. If you do see someone staring at you, don't act like you care, just smilie and wave at them and you'll be surprised at the reaction you get. If someone asks you why your wearing that just politely say "because I like it" If you want to be really confident try to look at the glass half full instead of half empty, you'll be a lot happy that way.       

WTF?

Have you ever browed around an online lolita shop and thought "WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU DESIGNED THAT!" thats the perpouse of this segment on my blog. I'll post some funny pictures of lolita clothes.

The first iteam I'm going to show you is a cutsew cardagin thing from metamorphose temps de fille
http://www.metamorphose.gr.jp/onlineshop_eng/blouses_tops/110030070019.php?ssid=132e21181109112133 this shirt is almost ok in black or white (it would be better without the weird frill coming up the side of the sleeve) but if you scroll down your see the red and black one and it is HORIBLE. It just makes you think "No meta don't join the darkside with ebay and milanoo!"

i can easily say the fanplusfriend makes some "unique" things but this dress tops them all http://www.fanplusfriend.com/servlet/the-1318/Cute-Lolita-Open-Back/Detail it would be ok if we were all in "gone with the wind", but it's sad that they would actually call it lolita